Sunday, August 12, 2007

Solo living.

When I made the decision to live on my own, I already knew what to expect from rejecting the cushy, well-appointed life that I had come to known in the last 29 or so years. More than facing practical concerns, I now had to confront a kind of listlessness that long, quiet evenings brought me.

I now had time and privacy that I have always longed for. It’s the kind that made you feel like you finally own your life. It’s just me, and 42 sq. metres of concrete space where anything I say, goes.

The feeling is both liberating and alienating, I realised. I welcomed exercising control over how my day is going to go, without regard for anything at all; but there were also evenings when I only have music, books, and a Macbook for company.

It was no longer about deciding whether to have cottage cheese for breakfast (vs. a hearty Filipino one) or keeping tabs of the week’s expenses.

Solo living became the fastest way I ushered myself into adulthood. More than heartaches and heartbreaks, the wisdom you gain from sudden displacement forces you to make more deliberate choices towards a future that I never thought about (planning six months ahead already feels too distant).

Whilst there’s suddenly a humble appreciation for the things you had and let go of, the level of introspection you achieve and the pride of having real independence make it all worthwhile.


christine said...

You've hit the nail on the head on so many counts. You've echoed my sentiments when I lived alone, better than I could have ever put into words. It's a good move you will always thank yourself for later. :)

P said...

Hello, Eileen. I remember the precise moment when i realized i had turned into an adult - solo living, and i had to pick all the guk from the bottom of the kitchen sink after washing dishes. i used to balk at this chore and tried my darndest to avoid it - but when it's YOUR sink...

orange.pixie said...

Poch, I've learned how to clean my toilet without cringing so much. Haha. Weekends have gotten more domestic, but I'm loving it. :-)

Nena, although I still have to live in my parents' shadow (hard to remove all them apron strings), I do enjoy the peace and quiet in my flat, whenever I get the chance.